A Symphony Silenced

[amymyoung]

Originally published at Amy M. Young. Please leave any comments there.

To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music the words make. 
Truman Capote, McCall's, November 1967

 

I was diagnosed when I was nineteen with ADHD - Primarily Inattentive and a few other co-morbid disoders. It made my life make a lot more sense - and I started treatment.  What I didn't know was that my treatment would take away my creativity for a decade. 

The most common treatment, even today, is still a stimulant medication like Ritalin or Adderall. Whlie this is great for allowing a person to get the other parts of their life into some semblance of shape, to take action on therapy techniques - there is a growing body of evidence that suggests that my experience is far from the only one. I found myself able to organize, get things done on time or early - and that was great. But I couldn't be creative. I couldn't take that leap into crazy places that the un-tamed mind does. 

I was on a non-stimulant treatment when I decided to start writing again (my writing had been published by a local paper when I was teenager), and finally take the dream that I had and turn it into a storyline. It took me just under a year to write the first draft - at approximately 130,000 words. I swore then I'd never go back to the treatment that had taken away my creativity.

But, here I sit, four years later, back on that treatment. Luckily I have a doctor who listens to me and we decided to put me on a combination therapy that actually gives me the best of both worlds. I still have my band of merry idiots who get into trouble, I still have wild ideas, but, now I can take action on them, complete what I started. 

The symphony is silenced no longer, and I can play for those who want to hear.